Being the Oldest -- SWEET AGE of 35 [for Saturday's sake]

It's going to sound like I wrote this before bed last night...that's cuz I did!

My husband joined the military after we'd been married for 12 years. I think that's why we handled the transition so well. The separation didn't seem that big a deal like it did to some of the younger, less certain wives and girlfriends. My soldier and I had already been through more than a lot of couples--seven relocations,  five kids, three pink slips, welfare, arguments, mistakes...and lots of love--enough that I knew joining the Army would be a breeze. If you've been married or with your significant other as long as I have, you probably know what I'm talking about. 

It's what happens when you're confident in yourself. I don't question who I am or if I'm replaceable. 

Sooo, my crazy-butt issue this week [because, yes...i'm a woman, and I still have issues, even if I'm confident] is that I don't think I fit in very well. Maybe this isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it doesn't matter that I'm more than 10 years older than most of the wives associated with my husband's class [he's still in school/training], but that's how it feels to me right now. I'm older...

I'm OLD! 

I'm not hip, like other ladies.

I'm not stylish.

I don't give a crap about Target.

My kids sometimes wear clothes that are stained or NOT cute.

My hair isn't straight.

I'll never drive a new car.

I don't give a crap about Starbucks.

Living in a neighborhood with a homeowners association might kill me.

I don't fit in very well...

And right now, I just want to cry because my son has to wear these stupid braces on his feet. And after putting them on for the first time today, I pretended to be upbeat about them and encouraging but mostly I was just so stinking mad and disappointed and sad. They don't even have a hinge of some sort at the back of the heel! How is he supposed to walk "better" if there's no movement there? if he can't stand on his toes? if he can't extend and contract those muscles like he's supposed to? And I just hated it... because it was just one more thing that makes him different from his peers. He's never going to fit in either!

All of this... and maybe we're better off BECAUSE we don't fit in, but somedays that's harder to accept. This is one of those days, I guess.

I think I need chocolate...

Or wine...

both of which I have.

So, I don't care that this blog post has the feel of a cliffhanger. I'm going to sign out and dry my tears and go watch Knight Rider. 

Take care good friends.

With Love

Bethanne