Expectations

When romance mirrors real life, how high are the expectations for the hero? Does the author set the bar too high? Are the men we read too romantic? too loving? too sensitive? Where is the line between real life and a good book, and how blurry can the line be?

This is on my mind...mostly because in RL, something happened to me that made me go, "Ugh! Really?!" And it involved something I wanted to do...something we thought wasn't going to be able to happen, but then the turn of events that would allow it to happen, but apparently what I wanted to do was no longer in the forefront of anyone's mind. [sorry to be so vague, but you get the idea] Let's just say, life has its disappointments.

Sooo, that got me thinking about the books I read and how good the heroes are... but, I have to admit, the mark of a great book--for me--is when the characters reveal some of those real life tendencies. The hero who doesn't ask before planning something. The hero who forgot about the so important event. And yes, those books are out there. I read them in the romance genre. And I always smile when the hero messes up. Because it reminds me that we can love imperfection.

Of course, we have to...if we want to love anyone human, that is. hahaha.

And I think the way we romance the reader--as authors--is by revealing the hero's deep down. Deep down, they want to make the heroine happy [and most good men do in RL, too]. Deep down, that oversight or mistake is as innocent as their personality. Men think differently than women, but they want the same things--love, respect, passion. Authors can bring those feelings to the surface.

Romance the reader with Real Life. Just do it.
With Love,
Beth

Music Monday

Before I start, I had an awesome Mother's Day. I have a husband who goes into protective overdrive on Mother's Day. He keeps the kids in line for me. He is ultra sensitive to how I'm doing and making sure I'm doing what I want to do. And this year, he planned a nice outing after dinner for ice cream at Culvers. The weather was perfect. The house was peaceful--for the most part [even mother's day can't stop a little bit of bickering. :D]. I am truly blessed by my entire family.

But, it's also true... I have mixed feelings about Mother's Day. There are two perspectives. One, appreciating my own mother and grandmother. Being so full of love and respect for all they have done. I can feel that. But then there's this other side of the coin...

As a mother, how do I really tell them what I want? Despite the love I have for my family [and I do have lots of love for them], what I really want is silence...solitude...a getaway. I want to not have to deal with any of them. I want what I never get--to be a person, separate from anyone else. I want an end of the day with no holds barred couple time...

But that's a great way to really show your family that you deserve Mother's Day, right? ...NOT.

I think part of the problem is that Mother's Day has this...give Mom a break theme. But, that's not the bottom line, and it's media and modern society [Hallmark!]that has messed with our conception of what Mother's Day is about. It's not about giving her a break; it's about honoring her for all she does. Maybe that means a gift. Maybe that means an extra hug or a note sharing your appreciation. But like so much in recent years--the heart of the "holiday" has been lost to commercialism. Buy her this. Buy her that... diamonds, iPads, sweaters. Blah!

And even the good[ish] Mother's [like myself] can get caught up in the wrong ideas. I don't really need a break. I would never be so crass as to turn my back on the family who is honoring me and loving me. The truth is, sometimes, all we have is family.

And I have the best, which became even more evident on the way home from dropping the kids off at school this morning. My two-year-old was singing along to the song Africa by Toto. Then when it was over she said, "I like that song." :D What?! I know! Crazy. LOL :D