To Rule or not to Rule

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I played a game of Life--The Game of Life--with my four year old today. It got me thinking about how kids reach an age when the rules matter. And playing games becomes strategic. But on the flip side of that... I think personality plays a huge role in what a little person carries with them into adulthood.

I loved this version of The Game of Life with my four-year-old because the rules didn't matter. She wanted to be a computer designer, she was a computer designer... we didn't take out loans or worry about money. We didn't even start with money at all. She didn't want to get married, so there was no marriage, but when we hit that point after wedding bells and the square for having a baby came along, she decided to have a baby. She wanted to live in the RV...and no, she did not want to upgrade to the mansion. When she was supposed to spend 65K on some "event"--a vacation, I think--she said, No. She wasn't going to do that.

As I sat there, enjoying this game way more than I ever would have with all the rules, I thought about what it would have been like if my husband had sat down to play with her. They would have had fun, and maybe she would have been given the opportunity to learn something... all I know is, I'm pretty sure there would have been some pressure to play "by the rules." The guiding hand of a loving father to create order.

Maybe we need that balance. I know it keeps a certain couple on our toes in compromise. But it also keeps life interesting and fun. My husband has helped me create order where order is essential--like the checkbook, and I throw in the chaos--or flare, reminding him that the side trips are okay, too. We don't always have to get where we are going in a straight line.

Hope you all are having a great week.
With Love,
Beth

I guess I'll go eat worms...

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New rules...
No rules.
No chores.
No obligations.
No discipline.

No yelling.
No swearing.
No caring.

I am just sick to death of being the bad guy, the yeller, the one who gets dirty looks, the one who can't control a temper. Why do I give a you-know-what? Why do I let it bother me when no one listens? When no one does what they are asked to do? 

I don't need to yell. Or swear. [or burp or sneeze or fart <--sorry, couldn't help myself. LOVE Despicable Me!] I wonder what they would do if I...like, started praying in tongues every time I usually lose my temper? Or sang Broadway Musicals? Or did a little tap dance? Or performed a dramatic reading from my current book?

Does anyone really LIKE being a parent? I see photos on FB. Status updates from other families. And they all look so happy. And it used to be okay. I mean, when the kids were littler and still loved me, it was wonderful! Now, I don't know.

I used to be fun. I smiled a lot. Laughed a few times a day. I knew how to relax, enjoy stuff. Now it seems like I'm always looking for the next 'me time' or the next out. Always looking for an exit, a chance to get away. The kids know it... I suppose maybe they feel as unloved as I do.

I think tomorrow I will start by getting out of the car at school and hugging the kids goodbye...
Win me any points??? I don't think so, but you know what? [see New Rules above] No caring.

I don't care.

I don't wanna be a Giant

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I braved the snow covered roads today, TWICE, in order to do some shopping. My first stop was a combo grocery and Christmas, the second was just grocery. The first trip I had my youngest with me and the second, my next older [i really can't stand when people say first and second youngest. Is is just me or does that not make sense? and who is the first youngest? The one who was born first and is now older???? Just sayin'].

My third child and I were checking out and he said in a very serious voice, "I don't wanna be a Giant." [it was that tone that indicates I've been telling him to do something for some time and am trying to convince him how wonderful it will be--a little whiny, but mostly desperate pleading] We weren't even talking about Giants...or David...or Monsters, Inc. Nope. Just out of nowhere. He doesn't want to be a Giant. I told him that was fine.

He mentioned a few minutes later that he would stop eating now so he didn't get bigger. [OMGosh. He's so cute.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe it's my imagination, but the conversation ignited that paranormal gene inside of my DNA. Wouldn't that be fun if it was a [still cute, yet] serious conversation? It made me think of the stories I've read that encompass shifters and magicians. I can just as easily imagine Jasha and Ann's oldest saying, "I don't wanna be a wolf."
Isn't this what fiction is all about? Creating alternate realities. Imagining a different set of rules. Speaking of rules... This got me thinking a few weeks ago when I asked her opinion on the intimacy issues of my Hero and Heroine. Should they have sex before they are married? Will they wait? She asked me when the story was set because if it was fifty years [or more] ago than it would matter, right? If it's today, it probably doesn't matter.
Well, I can understand her confusion. But I could only respond what I knew in my heart. That I didn't think God's laws had changed. I ruminated on this topic for a while, though didn't ever bring it back up with her. In any case, I think our stories are like that. We make a set of rules, perhaps guidelines, that will dictate how our characters will act AND how those actions will make them feel. There are some rules that we can bend or manipulate or recreate, but there are also the founding rules. In Vicki Pettersson's Scent of Shadows, her superheroes could only cross into a different realm at the exact point between day and night. Changing this would ultimately change the story. I suspect, this is a rule that will very rarely be broken...if it can be broken at all.
On the other hand... my hubby paid the dentist an exorbitant amount of money today because the receptionist told him he had to. A week before Christmas??? OMGosh! I said to him, WHAT?
You should have told her you didn't have your check book. That's what I do.
"My wife lies." He responded, somewhat amused.
"Yes! You didn't have to pay that right now. They could have billed you." Hell, who carries that kind of money anyway? And it's not like they told him before hand and prepared him. UGH! Sheesh. I would have told them I only had a certain amount of money then paid that amount. That way they would know I'm serious. I'm not trying to jip them, but come on!!! A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS?? *eyeroll* *sigh*
Purgatory, anyone?