My Wife

Every once in a while, you hear a man say, "My wife," and it kind of strikes a chord deep inside. There's a possessive quality that makes a woman go Mmm, and maybe even shiver a little. To be so completely needed, wanted, had.  Even the liberated, feminist can't deny that clutch in the belly, that instinct to jump him when he speaks that way... 

I have a story I'll be self-publishing in late 2016 [yes, that far away], and it has a hero/heroine married couple. Probably the reason I couldn't sell it in the last five years. Publishers  think that the majority of readers want twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings... maybe they do. But sometimes you can't change the story to fit the market. Sometimes, yes. But  not this time. :) There are a few tense moments in this book...now I need to go back through and see if I wrote those so strong words. 

"My Wife"

From the Gilmore Girls... 

Richard Gilmore, talking to Lorelai: Of course it sounds insane! It is insane! That is not the point!

Lorelai: Okay, What is the point?

Richard: The point is your mother is upset, and I don't want her to be upset. You may not understand her world. I may not understand her world, but it is her world, and in her world, it is very, very important that she have that first cup of tea. And I don't care about your independence or what you told your mother or anything else you have to say. If MY WIFE wants the first cup of tea, she's going to have the first cup of tea! That's it!

From Jerry Maguire:

Hello...Hello I'm looking for my wife. Tonight, our little project had a very big night. It's all because of you. 

Jim, from Office Space:

“Four years ago I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing I ever had to do, which was just to wait. Don’t get me wrong I flirted with her...For a really long time that’s all I had. Little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think, even then I knew, I was waiting for my wife.”

Jack Bauer, 24:

"I'm the last thing that you will ever see if anything happens to my wife or daughter."

Dr. Richard Kimble, The Fugitive:

"I didn't kill me wife!"

Happy Easter!

I'm at my new home on the world wide web...and I haven't really announced it to anyone yet. So, if you're reading this, it's because you stuck around and started looking in my windows. I'm ok with that!! :D

Now that it's spring, Easter is here. I love Easter because of my faith, but also because it is a season of hope. May all my friends, family, and followers [FFF] share in a hope as deep as the love God has for us. Love is a great thing, and it's why I write about it. <3

To Rule or not to Rule

I played a game of Life--The Game of Life--with my four year old today. It got me thinking about how kids reach an age when the rules matter. And playing games becomes strategic. But on the flip side of that... I think personality plays a huge role in what a little person carries with them into adulthood.

I loved this version of The Game of Life with my four-year-old because the rules didn't matter. She wanted to be a computer designer, she was a computer designer... we didn't take out loans or worry about money. We didn't even start with money at all. She didn't want to get married, so there was no marriage, but when we hit that point after wedding bells and the square for having a baby came along, she decided to have a baby. She wanted to live in the RV...and no, she did not want to upgrade to the mansion. When she was supposed to spend 65K on some "event"--a vacation, I think--she said, No. She wasn't going to do that.

As I sat there, enjoying this game way more than I ever would have with all the rules, I thought about what it would have been like if my husband had sat down to play with her. They would have had fun, and maybe she would have been given the opportunity to learn something... all I know is, I'm pretty sure there would have been some pressure to play "by the rules." The guiding hand of a loving father to create order.

Maybe we need that balance. I know it keeps a certain couple on our toes in compromise. But it also keeps life interesting and fun. My husband has helped me create order where order is essential--like the checkbook, and I throw in the chaos--or flare, reminding him that the side trips are okay, too. We don't always have to get where we are going in a straight line.

Hope you all are having a great week.
With Love,
Beth

And then March....

March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb.

That's the saying anyway, and this year, soooo very true. When my daughter's basketball was over, I made that official [annoying] announcement that all extra-curricular activities were cancelled until further notice. I take that back, it's not cancelling if there's nothing going on, but it was the kabosh on any new starts. It's true, my kids are deprived. They are allowed to do ONE activity a year--one sport, one club. This year my son did soccer in the fall and my daughter did basketball in the winter. And then March came and I was excited because finally, I wasn't going to be a taxi driver anymore. Whooot! For three months this year, the only school activities will be the volunteering that I, or my kids, do. And there's always the social aspect, which I'm not pulling either. Six kids, phew! I don't know how my MIL did it with seven. Sometimes I don't know how I'm doing it with six...or if I'm doing well-enough.

I'm grateful for March this year. It did come in like a lion, and it is leaving like a lamb. There are still things on my plate. But I'm able to focus a bit more on my writing, which is key for this girl's sanity. Not only that, I've been able to pick up some reading as well.

I'm sure April showers will bring a few storms...some thunder and lightning. But I love this life. And I can't wait for what the rest of this season brings...

Make Every Minute Count this year!! #MEMC

With Love,

Beth 

Expectations

When romance mirrors real life, how high are the expectations for the hero? Does the author set the bar too high? Are the men we read too romantic? too loving? too sensitive? Where is the line between real life and a good book, and how blurry can the line be?

This is on my mind...mostly because in RL, something happened to me that made me go, "Ugh! Really?!" And it involved something I wanted to do...something we thought wasn't going to be able to happen, but then the turn of events that would allow it to happen, but apparently what I wanted to do was no longer in the forefront of anyone's mind. [sorry to be so vague, but you get the idea] Let's just say, life has its disappointments.

Sooo, that got me thinking about the books I read and how good the heroes are... but, I have to admit, the mark of a great book--for me--is when the characters reveal some of those real life tendencies. The hero who doesn't ask before planning something. The hero who forgot about the so important event. And yes, those books are out there. I read them in the romance genre. And I always smile when the hero messes up. Because it reminds me that we can love imperfection.

Of course, we have to...if we want to love anyone human, that is. hahaha.

And I think the way we romance the reader--as authors--is by revealing the hero's deep down. Deep down, they want to make the heroine happy [and most good men do in RL, too]. Deep down, that oversight or mistake is as innocent as their personality. Men think differently than women, but they want the same things--love, respect, passion. Authors can bring those feelings to the surface.

Romance the reader with Real Life. Just do it.
With Love,
Beth

This morning, it was hair...

When I told my sister I went to a MOPS [mothers of preschoolers] meeting this morning, but that I wasn't sure if I'd go back, that I had a good time, but felt unsettled there... she said I had the "sign of the sixth child." Maybe she's right! Is it a syndrome? Do you think I could get drugs for it? :D :D hahaha. The meeting was wonderful, the speaker did an awesome job and I loved what she had to say. But overall, I think I just wanted to be home. I'd kicked the kids out at their schools for the day... and, there was a great desire to straighten the house [before the next invasion] and to sit quietly during that morning nap time.

I remember a time when my older kids were younger when all I wanted to do was get out of the house, find something to do. And that's the purpose of this great group, MOPS. Have I really moved beyond that "phase in life?" I'm young, really...so I guess I'm surprised to have moved into this transition. But it's true, I guess. Next year my Darla [wasn't she just born yesterday?] will be 5 and in preschool during the day. And it will be just me and Jack. He'll know a different mom than my older kids knew. Because I just don't want to do that stuff anymore...

And speaking of hair...never, never, NEVER tell your fifteen year old daughter to "just cut her bangs." I swear, it was slamming doors, yelling, and all things like the world was going to end because her bangs "looked awful!" Which i highly doubt, but she had them clipped up before I could even get a glimpse. *sigh*

Yay. Now, I will sit back, enjoy the quiet of the afternoon nap time, and get some writing done for Brian and Lisa, who are about to experience a little bit of a black time.

Have a great end of the week!
With love,
Beth

Fluff

I heard someone refer to romance as "fluff" again this week. Actually, it's been a loooong time since I've heard that term. Maybe I've been talking to a different sort of people in the last several years. Or maybe I've merely chosen to ignore what is right in front of my face.

Either way, it surprised me to hear it. Especially from someone who reads it

So the question is, what makes it fluff? Is it really the happy ending? Does the fact that the story ends with a satisfying, emotional conclusion make the story airy? soft? How about the sex? Is it the sex that makes it fluffy? I'm a little confused. Let's look at these aspects of romance that make the romance romance. Right? These are two characteristics of a book that set it apart from other genres.

Happily Ever After [HEA]
...the American Dream. Pursuit of happiness. Love that lasts a lifetime.

There's a chance--and I'm going out on a limb here--that this is what all people are looking for, whether they do it by taking up extreme sports or by dating off and on through their twenties. The goal in life is happiness, completion, purpose. Sooo clue me in, what's fluffy about reaching a dream, succeeding in a goal?

The fact that a romance novel portrays that journey to HEA is proof that it is NOT fluff.
Fluff would be..what? Making a goal and getting there without effort. Fluff would be... no conflict. Two people meet, fall in love, get married, have kids...and gah, gah, gah til death did they part. BORING.

I haven't read a romance novel like that. Honest to goodness, if a romance novel doesn't have conflict, it isn't going to sell! A publisher is NOT going to buy it.

Maybe this misconception by fluff-claiming readers is that the story ends at The End. Maybe they read to that satisfying ending and think... "that would never happen." or "Sure, like that couple is just going to live together forever and be happy for the rest of their lives." But what the romance novel shows is that Love conquers the bad. That they've made it through the worst--or something really awful--and survived. They'll do it again the next time, too. Suzanne Brockmann does a great job of showing this. Through her series, you see the HEA couple from book a previous book hit bumps in the road again. And I think that's what's so appealing about her books. The story doesn't stop.

The books I read hit on all the hot topics we find in life every day--divorce, sickness, career choices, sibling rivalry, death, morals and ethics, self-esteem... The people are just like people I know. Do we like the HEA? Yes. Do we get to the end of the story and go, "Awww." Probably. Do these reaction indicate an empty, airy, meaningless experience? I don't think so. More, it's a sign that we've come through something trying and won. That's the meat of the story. The story would be nothing without the trials, conflicts, and characterizations.

Fluff? I think not...
Wow, I just went on and on and on. For the record. I am not offended that people don't read romance. There are gobs of readers reading all sorts of books. Some like Fanstasy and sci-fi, some DIY, some memoirs and auto-biographies...some like historical or msyteries. There is so much to read these days!! We should all read whatever makes us happy. Just, don't go calling romance Fluff because it makes you feel happy and "destresses" you. Happy--no matter how you define it, i.e. getting to heaven or finding mr. right or making a million dollars--is the ultimate goal!! Would you define your own journey and goal as Fluff? I can't speak for everyone, but somehow, I doubt it.

Next week, I'll speak on that oh-so-hush-hush topic in romance, Sex. But I wonder if that's even necessary, because it's one of the most powerful aspects of humanity...so, not really fluff, eh? I mean it's so important...we're told to wait for 'the one', we have to do it for marriage to be official, it speaks for men, can be used by women, and without a doubt can change the course of a person's life. There's hardly anything fluffy about sex. It's important, sacred, powerful, and, over-all, not fluffy. There. Nevermind about next week. :D

Have a great week.
With Love,
Bethanne

Work it

I'm not one for spreadsheets and math. Excel is my Kryptonite...it takes my super powers away. But, recently, we had a family discussion.

After being asked this question at work [and knowing the best answer, of course], my husband came home to ask it of the kids.

If I hired you to work for 30 days, would you rather have $10,000 dollars a day or starting at 1 cent, earn double everyday for 30 days. I admit, I've known my husband long enough to know the right answer wasn't the obvious one. He didn't like calling it a "trick" question. Afterall it's not a trick, just math, but the kids all answered with a resounding...give me 10k a day!!

Go ahead...do the Math. [I'll wait...] Did it look something like this? [only without the cutest little girl in the world?] [and yes, my husband came on and made this Excelsheet for me!]

Sooo, this got me thinking about the writing industry and work, work ethic, longevity. With a market flooded by novels--romance in particular, I'm starting to wonder how many people are willing to take the 10K a day. 

For the really big bucks, you have to be willing to work at least 25 days; you have to be able to work for almost TWENTY DAYS before you see what you'll make in one day at 10K a day. And those first days will be the hardest to get through. Earn a penny?? Work your butt off and not see the results? Ugh. Yuck! In today's age, work for the sake of work is hard to swallow. We want results, now. 

But I really believe that the person who can see this kind of growth, who is willing to hold off on reward and just work, will see a bigger outcome. The truth is, I read a lot of books that I think could have used more work, needed more editing, or just weren't up to par--in general. So, what happened? Was the lure of self-publishing a temptation that couldn't be denied? Everyone else is doing it. Other people are making that 10K a day... 

What happened to the work? People poo-poo traditional publishing, but ten years ago most writers worked for ten years before seeing a return, before making the cut. I think we've lost some of that cut.  There's no need to get the story right, to even listen to the people who know better. The idea of 'this is my story and no one can tell me what to do' has grown out of proportion. I love self-publishing. This isn't a slam on where the industry has gone. I swear it. But...I think the loss of those dreaded gatekeepers--the agents, the NY publishers and editors, even the smallpress publishers and editors--have left the readers with no direction.

I don't want to buy another book that leaves me wanting. I guess, when it comes down to it, I hope the industry can swing back the other way just a little. Find a happier medium than where I feel it is now.

That is all!

What would you rather? $300,000 at the end of the month or $10 million dollars?

Work hard, friends. Be willing to work for nothing. Always push yourself for the sake of doing something to its best.

With Love,

Beth